On the surface, the thought that you may be someone other than yourself appears strange. But we're programmed to "fit in" from the moment we can speak. We find ourselves conforming to satisfy the people we care about and who care about us.
However, there are moments when you must repress what you know is your true self.
Despite this, the most essential relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. It's very hard to have strong connections with others without first having a healthy relationship with yourself.
Start with these 4 suggestions to help you rediscover the real you if you're ready to reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while — yourself.
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Quiet the noise in your head
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.
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Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways
In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”
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Listen to your heart
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.
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Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal
What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.
A person you can know and love -
you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and
accept. When you accept your Real Self again,
you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually
fit who you are. Now, that's what you're
really looking for, isn't it?